


On The Run With Your Enemy

by shamandalie (meridalocksley)



Series: Vis A Vis & El Oasis [2]
Category: Vis a Vis | Locked In (Spain TV)
Genre: Domestic, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Frenemies, Frenemies with Benefits, Hurt/Comfort, Love/Hate, Lowkey toxic relationship, Or whatever they are to each other, POV Alternating, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:01:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 21,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23965042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meridalocksley/pseuds/shamandalie
Summary: 🔶️El Oasis "Season 1" (canon timeline, alternative ending)🔶️Zulema's and Macarena's life together in the trailer.» Bickering, teasing, manipulation, attraction, fights, drinks, robberies & more.• Chapter 1-11 are random situations I came up with which they could have faced during their time together.• Chapter 12-17 are also dealing with Zulema's illness, but I went with that into a different direction than the show did.
Relationships: Zulema Zahir/Macarena Ferreiro, Zulema/Macarena
Series: Vis A Vis & El Oasis [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1747813
Comments: 176
Kudos: 302





	1. Still afraid?

**Author's Note:**

> This quarantine makes me write down all the random stuff which crosses my mind! Should I continue this?

Macarena peeked out of her sleeping cabin as Zulema shut the door of the trailer. She looked at the clock, it was almost midnight.

"Oh, you were asleep already?" Zulema asked when she noticed the sleepy-faced Macarena taking a seat near the kitchen table. Zulema being the one to always come home later or wake up earlier, they agreed that Macarena can have the cabin, and Zulema will sleep in the living-room/kitchen part of the trailer. She really couldn't have cared less about these little details anyway.

"Where the hell have you been? I am starving."

Zulema theatrically put down a paperbag in front of Macarena. "Good appetite! I ate in the city."

"We should really rethink which one of us is responsible for what, because I don't think I can go on with your menu for long..." Macarena continued as she examined the content of the bag with disappointment. Cold pizza, two chocolate bars, and a bottle of liqueur.

"Next week the food is your duty. If you will be willing to cook some fancy dinner for us you are welcome to do so, but until then... I am happy that we got along relatively decently and did not end up killing each other in these past two weeks." Zulema put two glasses on the table. "So cheers to that!"

Macarena sighed. "What took you so long anyway?"

"I ran into an old friend." Zulema said taking a sip from her drink. Macarena raised an eyebrow.

"All right... I ran into an old acquaintance. A... distant acquaintance." Zulema shrugged. "He was an asshole." She added lighting a cigarette.

Macarena was slightly alarmed by the past tense, but did not ask further questions. The less she knew about Zulema's solo-adventures, the better it was. And she was also aware that Zulema enjoyed creeping her out so she did not give her the satisfaction to react.

"This pizza was actually not that bad." Macarena said when she finished eating and took a sip from her drink too. It felt so weird that she was here, drinking with this woman, whom she despised more than anyone else - well, almost anyone else - and... what felt weird was actually the fact that it didn't feel weird anymore. She was wondering whether they've leveled up on the toxic scale so much that it became normal or whether they were truly starting to become... friends.

"What are you thinking about?" Zulema's voice brought her thoughts back to the trailer.

"I was just wondering how on earth did we end up here, together. Isn't it ironic?" Macarena laughed.

"Life is ironic." Zulema blew out the smoke. "But what is bothering you?" she straightened up. "Are you still afraid I'll creep into your dorm and kill you in your sleep?"

Macarena didn't answer. What answer would have been appropriate anyway? She wasn't afraid of her anymore, not really, but she was also aware that with an intense enough disagreement, this woman would not hesitate much about killing anyone. Including her. Then again, given the circumstances, probably neither would she. Their partnership was stitched together with safety fuse and they were basically playing with the detonator.

Macarena wanted to change the subject. "What were you like in your early jail-days?"

"Younger." Zulema shrugged.

"Come on, don't tell me you were always this intimidating, powerful persona there, everyone is a newbie first."

"That's flattering." Zulema smirked.

"Seriously. Have you ever had a girlfriend in there?"

Zulema almost spit out her drink.

"I mean you always gave the impression of the straightest of the straights from that bunch, and had a boyfriend out there, but... I wouldn't have thought I'll end up getting involved with Rizos either, so I was wondering..."

Zulema put down her glass, laughing. "Now you want to get to know me. Fine." then she continued on a more serious tone. "Here we go. Primarly, for most of my time in jail I've been in a long-term relationship. I don't know what these things mean to you, but knowing that you've been the mistress in your affair, I suppose not much, but for me they've been sacred. Well... sort of sacred. Secondly, I am not into girls. Mostly not... And thirdly, I did many things if they were necessary for getting what I wanted. But not anything."

"That made everything very clear." Macarena nodded sarcastically.

"That's all you'll get." Zulema drank the remaining liqueur from her glass, then looked at Macarena. "The rest is up to your fantasies."

Then something must have occurred to her because she kept staring at Macarena with a scanning gaze. "You are not afraid of me killing you in your sleep. You were afraid of waking up one day with me creeping into your bed, weren't you?"

"Come on..." Macarena looked back at her.

"Don't tell me the possibility didn't cross your mind since we are living together. It did cross mine." Zulema laughed. "But it seemed so improbable that I didn't even give it a second thought. But now that you've brought it up..."

"Zulema... I didn't bring up anything. You -"

"Ok, jokes aside, sooner or later this conversation would have come up anyway. So just to make everything clear, I don't -"

"Zulema! Shut up! I am not afraid of you creeping into my bed..."

Zulema shut her mouth, then raised an eyebrow. "Oh! Don't tell me you actually wanted to sleep with me and you were looking for the green lights. In that case I ruined everything." she added with feigned nervousness.

Macarena looked at her with disbelief.

"That would make sense." Zulema shrugged. "Everyone who knows me either wants to kill me or to f*ck me. There's no middle ground. And now that you're off the first list -"

"Arrgh!" Macarena took the empty pizza-box and threw it at Zulema. "You are insupportable!"

Zulema picked up the box, and took it out to the waste bin.

When Macarena closed the door of her cabin she could still hear Zulema mumbling: "Yes indeed, how on earth did we end up here...?"


	2. Sorry, what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Maca's POV)

Macarena couldn't sleep. _Awesome. Now Zulema will keep teasing me about me being attracted to her..._ She rolled over to her other side. _No. She won't. She was just joking. She will not bring it up again. We'll go on as if nothing happened. She didn't even think that that idea could be probable, so..._ For some reason this thought made Macarena feel insecure. _For God's sake!_ she sat up in her bed, rubbed her eyes and took a deep breath. _Why do I even care about what she thinks? That woman is a monster!_ she told herself.

There was a knock on her door. "Hey, I heard you're up. I've accidentally eaten one of your chocolate bars. Here -" Zulema threw the other one towards Macarena. She caught it. "take it. I'll eat this one too if it stays close to me."

 _Great. A monster who steals my candy but still cares about my daily sugar intake.._. "Midnight snack?" she asked. "I thought you were sleeping."

"It's seven o'clock, sunshine." Zulema said as she left.

 _No way..._ Macarena fell back onto her pillow. 

.

The coffee smelled good. Macarena was playing with the cream on the top of it. It was not a daydream living with Zulema, but at least she made coffee every morning and usually left order after herself.

"How come you're up so early?" she asked leaning against a wardrobe.

"No idea. It happens."

"We'll have a sunny day. We should get some sun chairs." Zulema said.

"Yeah, we'll get them the next time we are running away from a store with the cops after ourselves."

"What's up with you today?" Zulema sat down on the other side of the table. "You're so... spiny."

"I got it from you, I guess. The side effects of cohabitating."

Zulema blinked wordlessly. "Well, it does also have its perks..." she then said with a smirk.

Macarena looked at her frowning. _Not again please, let it go._

"What? I mean we couldn't pull off the stuff we do on our own. Or... better said, you couldn't. I could. But that would be boring after a while..." 

"Hmm.." Macarena took a sip from her coffee, being relieved. She never thought about the two of them as anything else than two people who despite their history managed to compromise and treat each other decently, because it was beneficial for both of them. And suddenly she was hearing innuendos where there clearly weren't any.

"We still have far too much free time." Zulema yawned. "We could fill it with something more steamy."

Macarena struggled to swallow her coffee without choking on it.

"You know that night club at the edge of the town?" Zulema continued. "There is a rich son of a bitch going there every second night. More precisely, his wife is rich. He is not a nice guy, believe me. And he is spending his wife's money on whores. He could spend it on us instead." Zulema said with a self-sufficient grin.

 _Either she is doing it on purpose or I am going nuts._ Macarena shook her head. "No. We're not going to blackmail him. That's far too dangerous." 

Zulema pursed her lips. "Fine. But then you come up with our next target. We can't just sit here, we also need money."

Macarena bit her lip. She had no idea what to do next, except for finally buying groceries herself and eating something other than junk food. "Ok... we can do that..."

"Oh yes!" Zulema jumped up, cheering for herself. "I knew I'll get your vote." she said with a smug smile then leaned down to carelessly hug Macarena and placed a quick but emphatic kiss on the top of her head. "I always do in the end." She winked at the perplexed Macarena before turning her back on her, heading towards the door.

Macarena closed her eyes and took a deep breath. _End this now or this will go on for days or God knows until when..._ "Look, if you're still enjoying yourself because of what you said last night, I assure you -"

"What did I say?" Zulema looked back at her questioningly. "Sorry, I came home after having already had a couple of drinks, it's all a bit foggy..." she gesticulated apologetically.

Macarena stared back at her. _Is she really going to play it like this?_ Zulema might have had some drinks but she was certainly not drunk. Because on one hand she did not look like it, and on the other hand Zulema hated being drunk. She wouldn't allow herself to lose control over anything, not to mention losing control over her own self. Macarena was already fed up with her bullshit.

"Hmm?" Zulema took a sip from her coffee then sat back down to the table placing her chin on her hands and kept looking at Macarena "What did I say?"

Macarena swallowed. 

"You said that you were sorry that you were late with the dinner and that you'll make up for it with cooking a normal meal today." Macarena was thinking for a moment. "And you mentioned that you'll grab some of those little cookies with fruity filling we ate by the seaside. You know, those round ones. Oh, and you said you'll also wash all the dishes today."

Zulema nodded. "Uhum. Yeah. That certainly sounds like me." She said scornfully. She stood up, stretched her back, then leaving her empty cup on the table, headed towards the door again. "Two more weeks, blondie, and you can impersonate me in a school-play!" she added as she jumped out onto the grass, breathing in the fresh air.

Macarena sighed. _If you go up against this woman, even when you win you lose._


	3. Business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Zulema's POV)

Zulema walked up to the nearby hill and sat down on a rock. She gazed into the distance. The buildings of the city were barely visible from there. It was just the hills, a river, and the sea, somewhere under the misty veil of the horizon. No walls, no bars, no people. Just the chirping of the birds and the wind wildly playing with her dark hair. She liked being alone. For a while.

She spent the last evening in a smoke-filled noisy bar, talking with a stranger. Loud music, alcohol and men who didn't know her name. She liked that too. For a while. Then the guy got on her nerves and had to stagger back home alone with an empty purse and a bruise under his eye.

Then this stupid blonde chick she decided to team up with welcomed her home with her whining, questions and chit-chat. Zulema started to laugh. _I might have gone too far..._ She was expecting Macarena to find her assumption laughable, to call her a self-fulfilled psycho and shut the door in front of her. What she definitely didn't expect was that Macarena will be awkward about it even the next day. She had no idea yet what to think about this detail, but it felt good to torment her a bit more with it in the morning. But that was enough. _At least she's starting to fight back again._ Zulema was getting tired of having the impression that Macarena is tiptoing around her. Regardless of her doing it out of fear or out of respect for ones new housemate, it was annoying. Zulema needed a partner in crime, not a college buddy.

When she got back to the trailer, Macarena was sitting on the sofa, reading something online.

"I googled this rich guy you talked about. Zulema, he is the mayor's husband!"

Zulema slowly nodded as if she would have recalled it only now. "Yeah... I might have forgotten to mention that."

Macarena shook her head. "No way we are going to do this. If it ends badly we end up in jail again."

"If anythimg we do ends badly we might end up in jail again!" Zulema rolled her eyes and sat down near her. "But if it ends well, we might have enough cash for new IDs, a passport, and a never-ending stock of... those fruity cookies you like so much."

"Didn't you have friends who did this kind of paperwork for you?"

"Well, I... _did_." Zulema pursed her lips. "But that's not of much use now, is it?"

Macarena leaned back on the sofa hopelessly. "At one point I'll curse the day I agreed to team up with you."

"Yeah, me too." Zulema agreed. "But you knew very well who you were dealing with." Zulema smiled. "And you said yes. You were even waiting for me to show up on your doorstep..." she said laughing. "You want this." Zulema looked at Macarena with a piercing gaze.

Macarena hesitated.

"Besides..." Zulema continued objectively and reached out to grab an apple from the table. "I was joking last night, I thought it was obvious." she said and took a bite from the apple.

"Of course it was obvious!" Macarena laughed awkwardly.

"Good." Zulema nodded seriously, although she was convinced that it wasn't that obvious to her at all. "Because unresolved sexual tension doesn't do well with business." she leaned back on the sofa too chewing the apple, and slyly grinned at Macarena. 


	4. The bag

The attempt to blackmail the mayor's husband went really badly.

Zulema tore open the door of the trailer, threw her gun onto the table and stormed into the bathroom. She was bleeding. The bullet only touched her shoulder, the wound was not dangerous, but it looked bad and it hurt like hell. But she endured it without a word, she has experienced worse after all.

"I've told you this is insane!" Macarena caught up with her and stopped in the bathroom door breathing heavily. "They could have killed us! Why were you so sure they'll give us the bag with the money without a trap? We've risked everything for nothing!"

Zulema didn't answer.

"And let's hope they did not see our faces. Not to mention your tattoo. What the hell were you thinking when you made that tattoo in the first place?! One screwed up heist and it's like having "WANTED" tattooed all over your face!"

Zulema turned towards her and snapped at her angrily "Could you just shut up for a moment?!" Her expression was threatening. Like a wounded animal. For a fraction of a second, for the first time since they were out of jail, Macarena saw the Zulema she used to hate with every fibre of her being in front of her. She closed her eyes and looked away. In this moment the trailer felt extremely small.

Zulema continued to bandage her wound.

"Do you want me to help?" Macarena asked coldly after a short while.

"No. I can do it alone." Zulema answered without looking at her.

"You can find some pain-killer pills in my drawer." Macarena said to Zulema's back then turned away from her and stepped out of the trailer, back into the dark, rainy night.

.

No one was talking during breakfast. Despite her injury, Zulema made coffee and now sat on her bed, with her legs under herself eating a pre-packaged sandwich. She was tense.

Macarena looked at her from above her omlette. "Are you sure you don't want to eat something else? I can prepare it for you."

"No. I'm fine. You don't have to pamper me." 

Silence.

Macarena finished eating, washed her plate and was about to leave Zulema alone when she straightened up with a hiss.

"Ok, you could do something though... There's a cavity between those rocks near the river, right when we get off the road to come here. You'll have to climb a bit. There's the bag. Bring it here."

Macarena's eyes widened. "You got the money?"

"I won't get myself shot for nothing. But I hid it there in case they would have caught us. This way we had the possibility to still come back to it later."

" _Later_? How can you always be so positive about escaping everything?"

"Where would we be if I wouldn't?" she shrugged. "Go, get it." she said calmly.

.

When Macarena returned, Zulema was still on the couch, reading a book. When she heard the footsteps and peeked out of the window to catch a glimpse of Macarena's blonde hair, she smiled.

"For heaven's sake how did you manage to hide it there so quickly? I had to step into the water to reach it. I'm soaking wet!" Macarena threw the bag near Zulema and went into her cabin to change her clothes.

"You were approaching it from the wrong side..." Zulema said indifferently as she opened the bag. It was a lot of money. It would have been enough for Macarena to survive with it for half a year or more. Alone. She has not neglected the possibility of not seeing Macarena or the bag again. Yet the money was here, in her hands. _She still needs me._ Zulema closed the bag and put it under the table. _Or she didn't have the heart to leave a wounded suffering soul behind, but ether way..._

"Thank you." she said briefly. 

"For what?" Macarena appeared again while getting into a sweater. Zulema almost never thanks anything. "That's my money too." 

"Of course." Zulema smiled. "But I would have went back for it myself, if I had been more in shape..."

"No problem." Macarena said and sat down near her. "How's your shoulder?" 

"Never better." Zulema said with a hinged voice.

Macarena found herself looking at her with sympathy. She started to feel bad for having had assumed that Zulema was playing her and she just sent her to the river to be able to disappear with the money meanwhile. Then when she found the bag it occurred to her that she could do that too. For a moment she was tempted. But then she realized she had nowhere to go and that the normal life she imagined for herself and wanted so much was an illusion, out of her reach. She'd live up the money soon enough and then she'd be alone and lost again. And apparently Zulema trusted her enough to send her after it. But that woman has hurt her in the past in so many ways that she shouldn't even feel bad for betraying her like this. But she didn't want to. As bad as it sounds, Zulema was the only stable point in her life. The only person she could talk to, who knew her actual name. She realized that she didn't even want to leave her.

"Did it cross your mind that I could have ran away with this money?" she asked Zulema suddenly.

"Apparently it did cross yours." Zulema turned towards her calmly. "What held you back?" 

Macarena gazed through the window into the distance, and shrugged. "The same thing what brought me here in the first place." _You_. - a voice was whispering in her head. She quickly chased away the thought. "The fact that together we can have even more of it." she said. 


	5. Normal is overrated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, these five chapters came so spontaneously and continuously to me that now I think I am out of inspiration at least until the next episode airs.
> 
> But until then, any kind of feedback is really appreciated!! ❤

It was a warm summer-night, Zulema and Macarena were sitting near a small campfire, looking at the design plan of a building.

"So it will take roughly a month to measure up this place and the exact schedule of the employees." Macarena said.

"Yes." Zulema agreed. "But it's worth it. And we have all the time in the world."

Macarena did not disagree. In the past couple of days, they've put together a pretty elaborate plan and for the first time she felt truly involved in the process of the planning.

"Tomorrow I'll -" Macarena was about to continue but Zulema grabbed her arm to silence her.

"Someone's coming." Zulema folded the paper and stuffed it into her pocket.

Macarena heard the sound of a bicycle approaching too. The intruder jumped off of it, and waved towards the two woman. "Hey! Lucia?"

Zulema raised an eyebrow and looked at Macarena who whispered "F*ck!" and swallowed. She waved back to him then scooted closer to Zulema. "You are my best friend from high school, we haven't seen each other for ages, and we came here to catch up and revisit our teenage years."

"Charmimg. And he is...?" Zulema asked crustily, but the stranger was already in front of them.

He smiled at Macarena and reached out his hand towards Zulema. "Hi, I am Mario. We met with Lucia a couple of times. She must have mentioned me. I tried to call, but I must have written down the wrong number." he looked at Macarena with a sad face.

"Nice to meet you, Mario!" Zulema stood up, deliberately hitting Macarena with her elbow in the process of it, and shook the man's hand. "Fatima." she said with a friendly smile, which coming from Zulema was the equal of a death-threat but Mario didn't know that. "Lucy's old friend. We're catching up here about her recent adventures." She turned back to look at Macarena with a killer gaze.

"Er..." Macarena straightened up too and looked at Mario apologetically. "As you can see, this is not a good time to hang out, we haven't seen each other for years..." she smiled at Zulema. "See you tomorrow maybe? Same place."

"Could you tell me your correct number -?"

"She lost her phone." Zulema interrupted him.

"I see... then tomorrow evening, at 8?" he looked at Macarena. "Sure." She nodded and smiled at him as he got on her bike waving them goodnight.

When he disappeared Zulema stepped closer to Macarena and grabbed her by her sweater.

"Weren't we clear about this? What happens while you're in the city, is none of my business and vice versa, but we don't meet anyone new repeatedly and we _never_ bring them home." Zulema's face was so close to Macarena's that she felt the warmth of her breath on her skin.

"I didn't -"

"We can't move to a different place every two weeks and you don't want me to kill every innocent soul who shows interest in you." Zulema pulled by Macarena's sweater to emphasise her words.

"So are we doomed to spend the rest of our lives with each other without even giving ourselves the possibility to have a normal human relationship with anyone else?" Macarena looked Zulema in the eye and grabbed her hands which were still holding onto her sweater to push her away from herself. "Not as if ours would be a normal relationship." she added with a bitter laugh.

"Normal is overrated." Zulema let go of her. "I don't intend to interfere with your love life, but if I see him once again nearby, he's dead."

.

Macarena stepped out of the shower and stared at her reflection in the mirror. She was prepared that her relationship with Zulema will be full of ups and downs. In one moment they were eating marshmallows together, in the next she could have had a knife pointed at her throat. But she was able to handle her. _But why am I even putting up with it? Am I such an idiot that I really couldn't survive on my own?_ Since she came back from the river with the money she was asking this from herself more and more.

This was the first time she met someone since they lived here, and why? Because she had the feeling that spending almost all her time with Zulema was making her go crazy. And they weren't even always together, Zulema kept minding her own business as well, whatever that was and with whom. Macarena still despised her for her lack of a moral compass almost in any situation, but she was grateful for having her as sort of a friend. She made her feel safe, except for the moments when it was her whom she felt threatened by. Sometimes she did something and Macarena felt like she should kill her to spare the world from another psycho. And after those moments she arrived to the conclusion that then she would end up missing her. Almost as if she would have formed an unhealthy adherence to her, which was scratching the borders of dependency. She had to get out of it. Macarena thought that if she'll start living her own life again as well, that would maybe give her direction and distract her thoughts from...

"You need more time in there?" Zulema knocked on the bathroom door.

"Just one moment!"

When she stepped out of the small bathroom she bumped into the bored Zulema who was waiting in front of it with a towel in her hand.

"We're out of warm water." Macarena said as she walked by in front of her.

"Wonderful." Zulema sighed. "Hey" she turned back to face Macarena. "Are you really still hung up on the idea of normal relationships or a normal life? I thought you're past that phase." Zulema made a grimace.

"Why are you asking? Are you afraid I might leave?" Macarena asked straightforwardly.

"No." Zulema answered briefly. "You are a pain in the ass. But we are really starting to get into all this." she continued on a different tone. "If we can pull of this next thing, we can pull of anything!" Zulema's voice was dramatic, and her eyes were sparkling from enthusiasm. She looked like a gambler who just tasted the winning. And they haven't even won that round yet.

"One also has to know where to stop, Zulema." Macarena said seriously.

"Says the one who barely allows herself to truly start!"

"Start what?!" Macarena frowned.

"I have no idea. Anything... You give the impression of someone who is constantly driving with the breaks on. What do you get out of it? And nothing is good enough for you, you always want something else. You either don't know what you actually want, or you are afraid to admit it to yourself."

"Or... I don't know... I might outlive you this way." Macarena said coldly.

Zulema lowered her arms.

"You might." she agreed. "Although it's debateable who outlives whom that way. But anyway..." She took a breath and looked Macarena in the eye. "If you want to catch up with me, you can count on me. But if you intend to pull me back because it's too much for you, don't expect me to slow down in case you fall behind." she threw her towel on her shoulder and turned her back on Macarena. 


	6. The threat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right, I was wrong. I had time and ideas. Too many ideas actually. 🙈
> 
> As a heads-up, I can't imagine them being anything better than in the best case low-key toxic, so if you are looking for something else, this probably won't be it.
> 
> Also... Something like this is the only way I can imagine that could stir up something between them. Especially after the last episode. So, yeah... I wrote it down.
> 
> Feel free to share your thoughts!

Macarena was watching the sky from a sunchair on the top of the trailer. It was not a bad idea to proccur them, she admitted. It was a pity that it was going to rain soon.

She was still thinking about what Zulema threw in her face a couple of days ago. She basically gave her an ultimatum. One which didn't require her to do anything differently, so there was no external pressure at all, but she has just informed her that she doesn't give a shit about her or about what she wants unless she is useful for her. This was no surprise for Macarena of course. She felt the same way about her too. But having had heard it being said out loud after these past couple of months again made her remember the core of their relationship. And she'll either end up in jail again or even dead with or because of Zulema, or she can go to give herself up and start all that shit over, on her own. But right now, they were alive and far from the jail. Having almost anything they needed. They were good. She had no intention to give herself up. 

A drop of rain fell on her face. She stood up, covered the two chairs with a plastic bag and climbed down the ladder.

Zulema was sitting on the doorstep of the trailer, smoking. She sat down by her side. "I didn't even notice you're back. Why didn't you come up?" she asked.

"It's raining." Zulema answered without looking at her. "And I wanted a bit of peace of mind."

Macarena nodded, stood up and entered the trailer.

"Don't take everything personally. You looked like you were enjoying yours too. I didn't want to disturb you." Zulema looked after her rolling her eyes. "If I want to stay away from you I go further than our porch." she threw the rest of her cigarette away, stood up and followed her.

"I saw your Mario guy on the street today." she said while she took off her jacket.

Macarena's hand stopped on the water bottle she was about to open and looked at Zulema. She didn't care much about the man, she barely knew him, but, unlike Zulema she preferred to solve things in other ways than with bullets or her bare hands.

"Don't be so startled. He's fine. People have the right to walk on the street, don't they?" Zulema took the bottle out of Macarena's hands and poured the water for herself. "But I don't know what you saw in that boring lad. Was he at least good in bed?"

Macarena ignored her. She stood up to grab another bottle of water. 

"No... Come on!" Zulema looked at her open mouthed and laughed. "You haven't even slept with him! Then what the hell were you doing?" Zulema asked with the conviction that anything else would have been just a waste of time.

"I don't think that's your concern. Besides... whether I've slept with him or not, I don't get into bed with every motherfucker who wants to buy me a drink. That's you."

Zulema put on an insulted expression. "No. I don't do that with everyone either." she shrugged. "I do have standards. But I have the feeling you haven't been doing it with _anyone!_ That explains some things." she added, more to herself.

Macarena felt insulted.

"Okay, this one you can take personally." Zulema drank from her water. "Another thing you do with your breaks on. I swear, sometimes I almost feel sorry for you." She shrugged.

Macarena slapped her, so that Zulema lost her balance, the glass fell out of her hand and broke into pieces.

"Stop analysing me!" Macarena said quietly, but with rage in her voice.

Zulema got a lock of hair out of her face, and touched her lip.

"That's better. For a start..."

Macarena stepped closer to her, cornering Zulema between herself and the wall. Zulema was about to lean down to pick up a bigger shard, but Macarena noticed her intention and got it ahead of her.

"Always ready to attack. You enjoy bringing the animal out of people, don't you?" Macarena asked looking at the peace of glass, then back on Zulema.

"You have no idea." Zulema laughed. 

Macarena pushed her back towards the wall and slowly touched Zulema's throat with the shard. "Stop it.'

"From this angle..." Zulema winced. "You reminded me of Hierro. You're full of surprises.."

"Who?" Macarena asked impatiently.

"Doesn't matter. An entirely different kind of animal." Zulema bit her lip as she recalled him. "But it's not the differences that matter now..." she frowned and gazed up at Macarena, pondering.

For a moment they looked at each other, then Zulema not minding the cold of the piece of sharp glass against her neck, she suddenly leaned forward and brushed her parted lips against Macarena's, while also carefully grabbing her hand which was holding the shard. Macarena didn't pull away immediately, so she even had the time to playfully bite her upper lip before she pulled the piece of glass out of her hand. Only then Macarena pushed her away, but it was too late, she felt a chill against her own neck and this time it was her being stuck between Zulema and the wall.

"You are sick!" she said with shock and contempt in her voice. 

"I prefer the term resourceful." Zulema was enjoying herself. "And you are easily distractible. And slow to react. But I really wouldn't have bet on it surely working with you, so... Wow." she flinched then lowered the piece of glass. She threw it away and calmly looked back at Macarena.

That one grabbed Zulema's throat angrily, and was both surprised and unsure about what to do next when her force did not meet any kind of resistance from Zulema's part. Instead she looked at her from her grip with a sly smile. "Damn it, blondie, as far as I was concerned, we were done. But if you want to continue..." Her gaze was provocative.

Macarena closed her eyes with a sigh, and let her go. "I hate you." She said resting her back against the wall, looking at the mess around themselves. "I really, truly, hate you." she repeated it looking Zulema in the eye, who was still smiling at her.

"I know." she said almost joyfully, and leaned against the same wall herself. "But keep repeating it by now and then, you might have had forgotten it lately. Anything else?" she tilted her head to face Macarena, her gaze fell on her lips.

Macarena noticed. She just blinked at her. "Don't you dare to tease me about this! This is on you." 

Zulema straightened her back. "Teasing is boring after a while. Don't you think we've leveled up?" 

Macarena laughed bitterly. "Are you saying we are... sick enough to level up in this case, despite hating each other?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about." Zulema said abruptly. She stepped away to face Macarena directly. "I said that if you want to be distracted, you can always threaten me with something." she shrugged. "It has nothing to do with how we feel about each other. So there's no need to feel awkward about it either."

She grabbed the book which was laying on her couch, then she lied down carelessly, putting her legs up against the nearby cupboard, so that she was almost upside down, her dark hair reaching the carpet. She opened the book, but continued staring at Macarena. "And of course then you wouldn't have to waste time with Marios either." she added confidently.

Macarena stepped closer and looked down on her. "You acting like a know-it-all is starting to get on my nerves. I swear I won't hesitate to punch you in the face whenever you are being annoying!"

Zulema jumped up and sat back onto the couch normally. She raised an eyebrow. "At this pace, we'll have to be very resourceful!"

Macarena passed by in front of her and opened the door of her cabin. "That was not a threat, Zulema. That was just a promise." she looked back at her smiling innocently.


	7. Perfume

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The "a bit more sexy stuff".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Macarena's POV)
> 
> Regardless of what happens, I think Zulema is 99% straight... :P

_Macarena felt Zulema's lips travel down from her neck to her collarbone. Her long hair was spread over her chest. It smelled like cigar smoke, rain, and a hint of an expensive perfume which lured one into wanting to sense more and more of it, until it slowly numbed all the other senses and solely dominated its victim's mind._

_Macarena ran her fingers through the dark hair, her hand settled on the back of her head, wanting to pull the other woman even more close to herself. Zulema looked up at her, content and demand reflected in her eyes. Macarena lived with the opportunity, she reclaimed her lips with her own, she rolled them over and they kissed passionately, their hands roaming over each other's bodies._

_But Zulema soon retrieved the control, she placed herself above Macarena and playfully ran her long fingers up on her body, from her navel, back to her neck. Her nails dug into her skin and her grip tightened. Macarena suddenly couldn't breath. She wanted to escape but she couldn't, her sight blurred, she only heard Zulema's voice bitterly echoing in her head._

_"Did you really believe I would ever want to make you happy, in any way?" she laughed._

.

Macarena woke up sweating, and with her heart racing. Her own hands were locked around her neck. She stared up into the darkness, breathing deeply to calm herself. _This is insane._ She rubbed her face and angrily stood up. _"What the hell? I am_ _not atracted to Zulema!_

She was extremely thirsy and she cursed herself for not bringing water into her cabin, this way she had to go out and judging from the light which was infiltrating from under the door, Zulema was still up. She didn't want to have to face her.

.

Zulema sat on her bed, with her legs up, her back against the wall, being immersed into her book. She was absent-mindedly reaching out for another peanut when she heard the door opening. She has even forgotten it that someone was sleeping in the other compartment. 

"You're still up?" she blinked at her. "What happened with your healthy sleep-schedule?"  
  
"I was asleep. I am just thirsty." she answered avoiding to look at Zulema.  
  
"I see." Zulema said and crunching the peanut she focused her attention back onto the book, ignoring the blonde.

Macarena poured herself water and stopped in front of the window to not have to step closer to the couch. She couldn't see anything through it, only the darkness of the night and her own and Zulema's reflection in it.

She shook her head and closed her eyes. _This is truly insane!_ She bit her lip and looked back at Zulema's reflection. From this angle she almost looked like a normal person. She was wearing just a long, black T-shirt, and she had one of her legs placed on her other knee. A smile ran through her face while she was reading and she turned the page. _But she is not a normal person!_ Macarena told herself. _And_ _apparently neither am I._

She turned around, stepped near Zulema and took the book out of her hands.

"I've dreamt about you." she said.

"Oh..." Zulema looked up at her, her face was unreadable.

"Aren't you going to ask what I've dreamt? Macarena asked.

Zulema shrugged. "Dreams are a personal territory. But I assume it was intense if you woke up from it being deshidrated." she assessed objectively.

Macarena put the book on the table and sat down on the edge of her bed, Zulema followed her with her gaze.

"You tried to kill me." Macarena said reprochingly.   
  
"And a dream like that still messes you up?" Zulema laughed. 

"You tried to kill me, while you were hovering over me, naked, and I had bite marks all over my body."

Zulema's lips curled into a smile. "Oh... Did I look good?"

Macarena was annoyed by her egocentrism. "Yes." she answered briefly. She let her win this one.

"Can I help you with anything?" Zulema asked her casually.

She didn't answer. Instead she leaned over her, content, and demanding placing one of her hands onto the bed at the other side of Zulema's. "Do you remember it when you said you wouldn't want to be my partner, not even in dreams?" Macarena asked "What happened?"

Zulema moved her gaze from Macarena's hand to her face and raised her chin smiling and looked Macarena in the eye patientlty. "I got bored." she said.

"You are not even into women, why are you doing this?" 

"What am _I_ doing?" Zulema asked back with a smirk.

Macarena tilted her head impatiently.

"As I said, I got bored. Freedom offers you only so much if you draw yourself lines here and there, and there..."

Macarena nodded. She gazed down on Zulema's lips then back into her eyes. She moved closer to her and slowly kissed her. Zulema didn's kiss her back. Macarena opened her eyes to look at her. "Go on..." she said with a pale smile.

Macarena kissed her again, this time she parted Zulema's lips with her own but it was enough just to inhale each other's breath, because then Zulema pushed her onto her back, pinning her down onto the bed, and kissed her roughly, and deeply. Macarena felt that she has just lost the bit of control she thought she had.

And she did not mind it. _What did I get myself into?_ she thought.

Zulema's kiss was salty, her grip on her wrists tight, and her legs felt cold as they interweaved with hers. But her kiss was fierce and her breath warm as she placed open-mouthed kisses along her jawline. Her hair smelled like cigar smoke, indeed, but also like her own. They were using the same shampoo after all.

Macarena laughed at the thought. This sort of gave back her self confidence. As Zulema's hold on her wrists eased, she pulled her hands out of her grip to run her fingers through her dark hair and with her other hand to reach down under her T-shirt, caressing her side and then resting her palm against her chest. Her nails sank into her skin when she felt teeths biting into her own skin right below her collar bone. She could feel Zulema's heart beating.

And for a brief moment Macarena was amazed by the idea that this woman does actually have one.


	8. The heist

"This is not going to happen again." Macarena put her hair into a ponytail, and sat up from the couch.

Zulema blinked at her. "All right. I can live with that..." she shrugged. "But this statement doesn't quite suit the impression you made." she added without looking at Macarena, preparing her coffee, but her lips curved into a mischievous smile.

"You said we don't have to discuss it." Macarena looked at her.

"I said we don't have to be awkward about it." Zulema said imitating her and approached the blonde with wide open eyes.

"Talking isn't obligatory either, of course." she rolled her eyes. "Hell, I even prefer it that way!" She stepped behind Macarena and leaned over her shoulder without touching her. "But not making things awkward was a condition." she whispered in her ear and stepped away.

Macarena rolled her eyes as well. "I was just saying that this won't become a habit." she said firmly. 

"Perfect." Zulema nodded. "Because we have more important things to focus on." she stepped back to the table and raised her cup "... _Associate_." she looked Macarena in the eye with half a smile, stressing the last word. 

.

Zulema finished putting on her eyeliner and stared at her reflection in the mirror.

When she realized that despite everything, she does have some kind of effect on Macarena, she thought it could be fun to play on it. And maybe also useful. But she didn't expect the blonde to give in so soon. 

She hasn't been with a woman for a long time, nor has she been with many. And when it happened, it was always because she was either using them, manipulating them, or distracting them. She wiped off a black spot from under her eye and smiled at herself. _And this was a bit of all three._ Spiced with a spontaneous " _Why not?_ ".

She was absolutely sure that this will not affect her in any way.

But she could only assume that it won't affect Maca either. And when last night she caught her staring at her reflection through the window, Zulema realized that this might be a more serious issue for the blonde than she initially thought. And it is one thing to be confused because one finds herself craving something she shouldn't. But when someone already tasted the thing, and then denies it from herself, because she realizes that she wants more, well that can lead to a catastrophe. 

Zulema truly hoped that at this point Macarena wasn't craving, nor denying herself anything.

They had almost everything ready for their yet biggest heist, and she didn't want anything to interfere with that. 

.

The club was noisy and expensive. Everyone was dressed as if it would have been a ball, although it was just the after-party of an auction. Even Zulema arranged her hair into a messy bun, which combined with the simple black cocktail-dress she was wearing lent her an almost sophisticated look, which according to Maca, did not suit her at all.

"This place is awful." Macarena said.

"Yes, it is. And if everything goes well, we won't hang around for long." Zulema answered. "Keep an eye on the door, I'll take a look upstairs again, he must be here."

When she came back, not having had found the a person responsible for the warehouse, she found Macarena chatting with a man.

"Oh look, there she is! I've told you I am not alone here!" Macarena looked at the man apologetically and reached out towards Zulema before that one could have had uttered a word. "Come, this is our song, we can catch the end of it!" she said with excitement and dragged her towards a crowded dance floor. She looked at the perplexed Zulema whose expression was asking " _What the hell are you doing?"_. From the corner of her eye she saw the man still staring at them, so she put her arms around Zulema's neck and placed her chin on her shoulder. "That man is a cop. And our guy just stepped out to the balcony." Macarena said seriously.

The song ended. Zulema blew a kiss towards Macarena and disappeared in the direction of the balcony. Macarena sat down near a nearby empty table to be able to see both the balcony door and the cop at the other side of the place.

Almost ten minutes have passed. She didn't know what was taking so long for Zulema to come back. Getting an access card out of someone's pocket was child's play for her. She blinked back at the cop. She didn't see him anymore.

"I just saw your girlfriend flirting with a man. What kind of messed up relationship do you two have?" she heard his voice at her side as the man sat down near her.

"We're just..." Macarena stammered.

"...always up for an adventure." Zulema finished the sentence with a smile as she appeared behind Macarena. "Just not with you." she added looking down at the man with a sad face. Then she gave a quick nod to Macarena. "Let's get out of here."

. 

From there everything went as planned. They got back home with a backpack full of ancient figurines, which the auctioneer did not officially own so could not report as stolen either. But museums would pay a lot of money for them. 

Zulema was having a smoke sitting by the seaside and watched as Macarena ran into the water laughing. She has never seen her this cheerful. And this was the first time she looked genuinely happy about their success. She tasted the real freedom - at least what was Zulema's definition of it, and she allowed herself to like it. She blew out the smoke and smiled to herself. It looked like she won't have to pland and realise her robberies on her own anytime soon.

She stood up and walked towards Maca who was calmly floating on top of the water. "Your taste in music in shit, but don't make me look bad because of it too."

The blonde sank down into the water then stood up in it looking at Zulema. "What?"

"The song you wanted to dance with me to." Zulema shrugged. "What kind of couple has 'Toxic' as their song? Who even listens to crap like that?" Zulema asked acting outraged as she stepped into the sea. "That was a fucking insult." she said and sank into the water.

"Because of its genre?" Macarena asked raising an eyebrow. "Or because of its lyrics?" she tilted her head.

"The genre of course. Who cares about words, that's not what music is about."

Macarena shook her head laughing, but did not comment her answer. "Will you ever be able to admit that I did something right without turning it into an offense?" she asked after a while.

"I think I did that already." Zulema said smiling. "But I tend to talk nonsense in situations like that so don't trust me about that either." she shrugged and swam away.

Macarena followed her with her gaze. Probably Zulema casually reminding her that she's not to be trusted, will be the biggest act of care she will ever receive from her. She kept that in her mind, and then she swam after her, out into the deep, dark water.


	9. Celebration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it's obvious where my inspiration for this came from.

The next couple of weeks went by relatively quietly. Zulema and Macarena slowly arrived to a common ground when it came about their business. And regarding almost anything else, they agreed to disagree. They were two people caught up in a whirlwind together, mutually and more or less respectfully exploiting one another and fully enjoying the process of it. Well, _almost_ fully...

.

When the siren of the police car faded into the distance the two women climbed out of their hiding place and laughed at each other.

"We did it!" Zulema boxed into the air! "Now you feel the kick of the dopamine as well, don't you blondie?"

Macarena smiled quietly. "Let's go. No one should see us around here tonight."

The evening was cold and rainy, they had to hold their little celebration party in the small trailer. Maca looked up some music and left it playing in the background. Zulema reached into her pocket and pulled out a crystal necklace. "Look at this! We're getting better and better!"

"It suits your clothes." Macarena blinked at her as she put glasses and a bottle of Jack on the table.

"Totally." Zulema placed the necklace on her neck. Macarena laughed. "Too bad we didn't have time to get the rings too, at least one of them..." she added as she placed the jewelry into a cupboard and stepped near Macarena. 

"You always want more, don't you?" she shook her head. "So, what do we do tonight? Cards?"

"Nah, that is so boring...!" Zulema sat down and put her head down on the table. 

Macarena put down the cards she was holding in her hand. "Is there something more interesting we could do?" she asked her coldly and immediately regretted asking it that way. _Or not._

"I have absolutely no idea." the answer came from under Zulema's hood.

_Really?_

"Then let's play something else. We tell each other three things. Two of them are lies, one is true. The other has to figure out which is which."

Zulema raised her head with disappointment. "That's something children would pass time with... "

"If we're wrong, or if the other guesses it easily, we'll drink." Maca shrugged.

"We'll drink anyway... But let's give it a try." Zulema said accompanied by another yawn, took a sip from her drink and stood up to increase the volume of the music. "You start." she stepped back towards the table dancing.

Macarena was thinking for a moment. "One: I stole a car when I was 16. Two: I used to be a straight A student. Or three: I've spent almost two afternoons making calls to find out the exact date of when were you going to be let go of jail."

"Really?" Zulema laughed. "You truly must have been missing me..." 

Macarena shrugged, and drank. "Your turn."

Zulema sighed. "All right... One: I've never had an affair with a guard in jail. Two: Sometimes I listen to Beethoven before I go to sleep. Three; My dearest memory is driving full speed with my boyfriend in the car with 1 million on the backseat and some French music blazing from the radio.

Macarena frowned. She thought that she is able to read Zulema pretty well but now she felt like she didn't know the woman standing in front of her at all. All of the affirmations suited her in a way. And in another way none of them really did.

"Driving full speed?" she tried.

"Nope." Zulema shook her head. "It's a dear one." she nodded. "But not the dearest."

"I can't believe you never needed anything from a guard while in there..." Macarena tried again.

"Oh I did..." Zulema laughed bitterly. "Is it really so difficult to imagine me calming my thoughts with classical music?" she sighed. "Anyway... your turn and..." she blinked down at Maca's glass. "You drink."

Maca meanwhile started walking up and down to the rithm of the music. "One: I could only name three pieces from Beethoven. Two: I sometimes have the impression that my housemate is a total psycho killer, other times I have the feeling that a refined noble woman is lost in her. Three: This song which is playing right now is a favourite of mine." she looked at Zulema. 

"You couldn't name one piece from Beethoven." the brunette stared at her. "Okay, maybe one... that one everyone knows..." she shrugged. "And this song is extreme shit, not even you can like it." Zulema grimaced. "So that leaves one alternative. But just for you to know..." she continued raising her glass and slowly walking towards Maca with her chin up. "Being a psycho and a refined woman are not mutually exclusive." she smiled smugly running her hand through her hair.

Macarena's gaze might have lingered on her a moment too long.

"My turn!" Zulema said without thinking much. "This won't be easy." she smiled mischievously at Maca. "One: I have never hurt a soul in my life. Two: I've been convicted unrighteosly multiple times. And three... " She looked Macarena straight in the eye with a piercing gaze. "I think my housemate is seriously reconsidering something she said not so long ago and doesn't know how to bring up the topic."

Macarena opened her mouth to answer, then she closed it.

"If you come up with something what will confuse me more, you don't have to answer this." Zulema laughed and refilled their glasses.

Macarena stood still, with her hands in her pockets and was thinking for a while. "All right. Take this: One: I am getting tired of my housemate's annoyingness, again..." she stepped closer to Zulema and smiled innocently. "Two: I am getting tired of all these robberies." she turned her back on Zulema. The brunette looked at her with shifty eyes. "Or..." Maca continued facing her again. "Three: Your associate might be more at the top of her game than you are." Maca brought her hand to her lips, for Zulema to inevitably notice the two crystal rings on her fingers.

"No way..." Zulema grabbed her hand and looked at the expensive jewlery. "How?" she asked Maca being stunned.

The blonde shrugged. "I wasn't a straight A student, but I learn fast." she pulled back her hand and gave the rings to Zulema.

"And you're telling me this just now?"

"Well... We could say that I was waiting for the perfect moment." Macarena smirked.

Zulema was still staring at the rings, then she looked back at Maca. "I could kiss you right now." she said absentmindedly and walked away from her to put the rings into the cupboard as well.

Maca reached out for her drink, took a sizeable sip out of it, then quietly started dancing to the music. She stepped in front of Zulema luring her into the rythm. A moment later they were dancing together.

”You're always just saying that lately." she whispered into Zulema's ear after a while then traced along her jawline with her lips. "Just kiss me." she said when her lips found Zulema's, barely making contact.

Zulema laughed. "I swear I couldn't figure it out whether you were truly being confused, playing hard to get to compensate for the last time, or just wanting to feel as if you were in control."

"And what conclusion did you arrive to?" Macarena asked impatiently. 

"Most importantly... That you're an awful liar." Zulema said then she kissed Macarena suddenly and roughly, running her hand through the blonde''s hair. She lingered to pull away though, hanging for a while on her bottom lip. _And that I have you completely wrapped around my finger._ she thought smiling as their lips collided again, but she did not say this out loud. Instead she deepened their kiss and pressing her body tightly to Macarena's she guided her towards the couch.


	10. Silver linings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned more into a character study than a story, but anyway... I hope you'll still enjoy it! (:
> 
> Any feedback, as always, is truly appreciated!

Macarena woke up early. She turned to her other side, determined to go back to sleep. Her hand stopped in the air when she realised that she is not alone in the bed and almost put her arm around the sleeping Zulema. _Damn!_ She rolled back to her back and stared at the ceiling with wide open eyes as the memories returned to her. Then she closed her eyes and laughed.

The last time when she woke up Zulema was already drinking her coffee. They went on with their day as if nothing would have happened. Or at least nothing more than when you drink a bit too much and accidently end up making out with your best friend. No regrets, no repercussions, you don't bring it up, and if it comes up you laugh about it. It will never happen again anyway. That was the deal. Even though they were far from being best friends, neither did they drink too much, and nothing happened accidentally. But it worked. For a while.

 _What was the deal now?_ Macarena blinked back at Zulema. She was laying on her stomach, her hands under her pillow. They did drink a bit too much this time and that combined with the rush of adrenaline after their successful heist repealed even that small portion of their deal which they - or at least Maca, has been serious about. _Well, we're definitely not going to cuddle now._ she thought still staring at Zulema.

Her gaze fell on the scar left by the shot she suffered a couple of months ago. She carefully pushed away a lock of her hair which was covering it.

Maca didn't even realise that she was hurt until they got home. Zulema's resilience amazed her. Sometimes in the good way. Sometimes in the bad way. _Had it been me being shot, would I have been able to still get through with our plan? And more importantly, had it been me being shot, maybe a bit more severely, would Zulema have had come to my help? Would I have risked my life to help her?_ She didn't know any of the answers, and the ceiling did not have them either.

"Overthinking again?" Zulema's voice brought her back from her thoughts. She sat up, leaning on her elbows and smiled at Macarena from under her messy hair. 

"No." Maca said briefly sitting up as well. "But what now?" she asked naturally. 

Zulema shrugged. "We can stick to our agreement. It has worked out well after all..." she added with a tired smirk.

"Yeah, complete success." the other laughed.

Zulema touched Maca's chin with her index finger bringing her closer to herself, then she softly kissed her lips. Macarena was surprised. She was not teasing her, and Maca didn't find her being manipulative, neither demanding, nor dominating. It was just a kiss. Simple, short, sweet. And new.

"Success is our fuel, blondie." Zulema said with a cunning smile getting into her hoodie. She pulled her hood up to her head and as Maca looked at her, the woman whose kiss she still felt on her lips was nowhere to be seen.

.

Zulema stepped out into the parky morning. She lit a cigar and headed into the direction of her favourite spot nearby, the small hill with the nice view. 

She gazed at the smoke as it disappeared into the distance.

She enjoyed having fun, especially if it was at arm's length. And she liked this new, more open, more daring Maca more than the tense, always serious one. Well, _liked_ might be too much to say, she thought, but she found her company far less irritating this way _._ Zulema thought that them having fun actually strengthened their association. 

Macarena once told her that their companionship was stitched together with portfire and it could explode in any given moment. Would another bond prevent the explosion, as she calculated, or would it just make it worse? Because now Zulema was sure that Maca started to feel differently about her, and not just in the sense of finding her company more bearable. And how long can she safely play around with that, showing her glimpses of a softer side of herself to weave her net more tightly around her, and benefit from it until it backfires? Or until she hurts Maca too much with it? Because she didn't want to hurt her. Not until it was necessary. What use would that have?

 _I am becoming sentimental..._ Zulema petulantly threw away the stub. _With or without playing around or her hate freshly transformed into attraction, she'd still stab me in the back given the right quid pro quo._

She stood up and enjoyed as the wind caressed her skin. _Then why not keep playing around?_

_._

"That fancy watch shop in the city centre?" Zulema asked.

They were laying in the grass, both of them looking at the sky and enjoying the sun while planning their next plunder.

"Meh..." Macarena grimaced. "Watches? Quite boring..."

Zulema laughed looking at her. "Look at you, you even have pretensions now! Pretensions mean assuming the bigger risk too, you are aware of that, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I am..." Macarena nodded without looking back at her. "Speaking of which..." she hesitated for a moment. "In case something would go really badly - hypothetically - and one of us would end up being hurt, or caught... Do you think we'd go back to help each other?" she tilted her head to look at Zulema.

Zulema swallowed. "I don't know." she answered briefly. "It depends on the circumstances, I guess." 

Macarena nodded, biting her lip. "I guess that's still better than a 'No.' she said and turned her face back towards the sun. 

"And if someone would offer you another chance at a normal life, would you give all this up? Or... would you betray me for it if necessary?"

Macarena sat up and looked at Zulema questioningly.

"Don't look at me like that. That's your Achilles-heel, I am not ignoring its probability." Zulema said seriously.

"Zulema..." Macarena frowned. "What normal life do you think that would still be accessible for me?" 

"No idea... I was just asking. Hypothetically." Zulema shrugged. 

Macarena sat back onto the grass. "The probability of me having a normal life again is zero. So there's no need for you to worry about that."

Zulema was not happy with the answer. But she still found herself smiling when Macarena rolled near her and gazed down at her with a pawky smile saying "Besides... Normal is overrated, isn't it?" 


	11. Distance

"What do you mean that you couldn't take the gold?" Zulema asked quietly but with the restrained anger palpable in her voice. "Only once I trust you to do the important part of the robbery and you mess that up as well! Answer me!" she grabbed Macarena's arm, who was walking on the empty street in front of her. 

"The guard was pointing a gun at me!" Macarena whispered. "I am sorry, but I chose to live instead of to die with it in my hand. We should be grateful that we got out of there at all!" Macarena pulled her arm out of Zulema's grip and kept walking. 

"You had a gun too." Zulema said. "You should have shot him."

Macarena stopped and looked back at her open mouthed. "We are thieves, not murderers!" 

"Tell that to the cop looking for us right now." Zulema laughed bitterly. "Have you seen your file? Not to mention mine. Have you forgotten who you are? We are murderers anyway, sweetheart!"

Macarena stepped closer to the other woman and looked into her face. "Don't ever dare to put me into the same box as yourself!" she said with contempt. "I am not like you. I am not a soulless, cold monster who just takes anything she wants regardless of the price! And no, I don't intend to kill again." 

Zulema's face was unreadable. She passed near Macarena and leaving her behind without a word, she continued walking towards their home. 

When Macarena arrived to the trailer Zulema was throwing stuff into a backpack. "I took half of the money. The rest is there." she said while still squeezing stuff into the bag. "I am fair." she looked at Maca when she was done and pushed her out of her way.

"Where are you going?"

"Away. Nothing personal. But sooner or later the cops will turn up here thanks to your golden heart. I won't be waiting for them here." 

.

Macarena was sitting alone in the trailer looking at the letters in a newspaper.

It was not the first time that Zulema angrily left after an argument, during which they've been throwing awful - and usually accurate - things into each other's faces. When she came back, because she always came back until the next morning, they both kept sulking for a day or so, then probably because the trailer was too small to bear with both of their insulted egos, they slowly - or occasionally vehemently - let go of their anger and things went back to normal. But now she wasn't back after almost two days.

Macarena didn't feel bad for having had messed up this. Her conscience was at the right place. But she started to feel worried because of Zulema's absence. _Did she leave for good? Did something happen to her? What am I going to do now on my own?_

Maybe the fact that lately, in the past couple of months, they've been less hostile with each other than before made the quarrel feel more real. She crumpled the paper and threw it against the fridge. She hated herself for still being dependent of Zulema. She hated that she was worried about her. She hated that she cared. She hated the fact that she wanted her to come back.

.

Zulema was laying in the sun, sipping a cocktail by the side of a pool in the courtyard of a small hotel, somewhere in the middle of nowhere.

A man approached her and sat down into a sunchair near her. "What is a woman like you doing here on her own?"

Zulema lifted her sunglasses and looked at the man who dared to disturb her. "A woman like me?" 

"Smart, powerful, attractive, knows what she wants... I've been watching you during the breakfast."

"Then go and keep watching someone else." Zulema put her glasses back and was about to ignore the man, when her phone started to ring. She looked at the screen, took down the volume and left it ringing.

The man blinked at it. "Trouble in paradise?"

"What do you want from me?" Zulema sat up being irritated and stared at the man. She noticed something shiny in the pocket of his shirt. _A badge._ She quickly turned her gaze away from it and looked the man in the eye. "If you are trying to hook up, cut the crap, I haven't been with a man for quite a while." she looked at him provocatively.

The man swallowed. "Your room or mine?"

"Mine." Zulema drank the rest of her drink and stood up, softly caressing the man's face as she passed by near him. She looked back at him smiling. _No gun though, it seems._

.

After she closed the door of her room, Zulema pushed the man back onto her bed, kneeled above him, reached below her pillow, grabbed her gun and pointed it at him. 

"Are you pervert enough to play around with your prey before you eat it? Eh? Or are you just a coward who was buying time until your colleagues arrive because you didn't have the balls to stand up against a _woman like me_ on your own?" she asked him furiously. 

The man didn't answer, Zulema pressed the gun against his forehead. "Tell me."

"Maybe both." he muttered. 

"Are you alone here?"

"Yes."

"Are the others on their way?" The man was hesitating. "Answer me!" 

"Yes. But they are taking a bypass..." 

"Why?" 

"I don't think that's your conc-" 

Zulema pressed the gun more forcefully against his forehead.

"Why?" she repeated the question. 

"Because they got a hint about the location of your partner." 

Zulema nodded.

"Good." she reached into the pocket of the man and took out his phone. "Call them. Tell them that the information was false and that you got me and they should come as soon as possible." 

"I won't do that." 

"Yes, you will. And if you know who I am, you also know that I won't hesitate to kill you at the smallest sign of a scam. So be careful what you say." 

Five minutes later Zulema closed the door of her room again, put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door handle and left the unconscious, tied-up man on his own. _I swear this blonde is making me lose my determination to do a clean job._ She has meanwhile sent a text for Macarena telling her to screw herself, preferably as far away from their place as she can. If she got the warning, cool, if she didn't, that's it. 

.

When she got back to the trailer it was empty. She checked the bag with Maca's part of the money, it was at its place, intact. She was nearby. And there was no sign of the cops having been there, so Zulema calmly sat down on the steps of the trailer and lit a cigar. 

"What the hell?!" she heard Macarena's voice as she approached her. "Next time if you try to warn me about something, be a tiny bit more specific!" 

Zulema blew out the smoke. "You're welcome. They haven't been here anyway, so it was unnecessary." 

"Oh, they've been here!" Macarena said. Zulema looked up at her. She noticed only now that Maca had a kerchief on her head, fully covering her hair, wearing her most used clothes and was covered in dirt.

"What happened?" Zulema asked gazing at her.

"I ran into that crazy blonde chick from the news who knocked me out because I recognised her. When I saw the cops on the main road I approached them crying and I told them that if they want to catch her, the last time I saw her she was getting into a car and leaving towards the city."

Zulema smiled.

"They easily believed me..." Macarena continued. "Because someone also called them that the information they had was wrong and that they have something more urgent to deal with."

"Lucky coincidence." Zulema agreed neutrally. 

"How did you know that the cops were coming?"

"I ran into one." 

Macarena swallowed, She didn't ask further questions. Maybe she didn't want to know the answer. Maybe she was just glad Zulema was back, no matter what it took.

"I am not sorry I said those things to you." she looked down at Zulema and took the kerchief off her head. "You can be truly awful. But I am glad you're safe and sound... and back." she said finally.

"I am also glad that I am safe and sound." Zulema threw the stub away and stood up.

She didn't tell Macarena that she was the one re-directing the cops, neither that she spared the life of one. 

Nor that she was also glad to be back and relieved to see that Macarena was safe and sound as well.


	12. Proximity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, although I pretty much saw this coming, this last episode pretty much messed me up... (This chapter has spoilers from the last episode!)
> 
> So I am not in the mood to write anything else right now than a bit of Zulema-love. It will be sad and sentimental, maybe a bit OOC, but I wanted to give her a hug.
> 
> (Damn, how did I end up rooting for such an awful criminal as her this much? Blame it on Najwa...)

"Zulema, was the cop you've encountered called Anton G.?" Macarena asked, scrolling through the news on her phone.

"I have no idea. Why?"

"There is a report from him."

Zulema put down the glasses she's been washing and sat down near Macarena by the table.

"He says that he had you arrested, but you managed to escape."

"Arrested?!" Zulema laughed. "Never believe the papers.. Or the people..."

"He also says that we must be a very dangerous team because we manage to look out for each other no matter the distance between us." Macarena laughed. "What the hell? He has no idea about us at all! Wait... It gets even better. Here he says that we would even use ourselves as a bait to help the other?!" Macarena laughed.

Zulema stood up. "As I said, never believe the papers. It's just a ton of bullshit. He achieved nothing, he has to explain himself why..." Zulema stepped back to the sink to finish washing the glasses.

"Well... knowing you, he should consider himself lucky that he is still alive and able to tell his story." Macarena closed her phone and laid back in the chair.

"Yeah..." Zulema muttered.

Macarena frowned. "What exactly happened there?"

"He recognised me, I tied him to a bed, and then I left." 

Macarena raised an eyebrow. "Did you realize he's a cop before or after the bed part?"

"Are you jealous?" Zulema laughed looking back at the blonde above her shoulder.

"Nah..." Macarena smiled. Then she slowly put the pieces together. "Did _you_ force him to call his colleagues?" she looked at Zulema with half a smile. "Did you do that to help me?" she asked being surprised.

Zulema sighed. "If they catch you. it's just a matter of time before they catch me too, so yeah, I did that." 

"Anyway...." Macarena smiled. ”Thank you." 

"You don't have to hug me." Zulema said coldly but with a hint of a smile.

"I won't." Macarena smirked, but she patted her shoulder as she passed behind her.

.

They were usually not being affectionate with each other, except for a few moments by now and then when Zulema seemed to be in the mood to overplay their pillow-talks. But that was never to be found again in their everyday lives. After a while Macarena realised that she was playing her, probably just being curious how far she'd be willing to go with their "relationship". They were not a couple, neither did they want to be one, they didn't even know what they were to each other, they were just always testing each other's limits. But that didn't happen often, nor recently.

Macarena noticed that lately Zulema has been less carping, she more often let the things be the way she wanted them to be without arguing much. This last argument of theirs was an exception. She wanted to believe that they just got to the point where they can behave like normal people with each other, but it didn't feel like that. Macarena had the impression that Zulema became more aloof as if something would be bothering her, with occasional bursts of crazier behaviour. She wrote that to the account of them having lived together for more than a year already and sort of getting bored of each other. 

But after one day when Macarena got back home and found Zulema laying on a newly bought trampoline she started thinking more about the issue. She knew she will not get a honest answer but she had to try.

.

"What's up with you wanting to enjoy life in the childish way?" Zulema heard Maca asking. They were laying on their backs on the trampoline for the tenth time probably.

"The way we live, we could die any day." Zulema said. "You should want to enjoy it too."

"You once told me that I don't know what I want." Macarena turned towards her. "What is it what you want? Is this life you have now what you wanted?" Macarena continued questioning her. "Because I doubt that it is." she laughed.

Zulema swallowed. "Sometimes you just have what you are dealt." 

Macarena sat up and looked at Zulema. She looked sad. "This doesn't sound like you at all. What's bothering you?"

Zulema looked away from her. "It's the anniversary of the day my daughter died." she said after a short hesitation. 

She hated herself for saying this. She hated herself for using the death of her daughter as a camouflage. But she didn't want to talk to Maca about what was bothering her recently, and she didn't have the energy to keep herself together and play it as if everything would be all right. And this was the only answer which she knew that Maca would accept, and stop insisting on the topic.

She was right. Maca laid back down, a bit closer beside her laying on her side.

"I am sorry." she whispered. "Although..." she added bitterly. "I also lost a child because of you. So me saying this is quite messed up... But I mean it." She slowly reached towards Zulema's hand. At first she instinctively pulled away hers, but then she changed her mind and let Maca lock her fingers with hers. "I am sorry." Maca said again quietly squeezing her hand.

 _Me too._ Zulema thought, but she didn't say it out loud. She felt the tears gathering in her eyes. She wanted to hide them, but she couldn't, Maca noticed them. She put her arm around Zulema, pulling her into a tight clasp. Zulema didn't have the strength to pull away. She might have even wanted to be held, even if it wasn't for the same reason why Macarena embraced her. It was comforting to know that someone, anyone was there for her and that she wasn't completely on her own. Tears were running down her cheek, and she allowed herself to sob, burying her face into Macarena's neck. She was mourning her daughter. She was mourning her younger self. She was mourning everything she lost, and everything she was never going to get. For a brief moment she was mourning almost everyone she has ever hurt. But first of all she was mourning her own fucked up life as it was. And the fact that it was going to end soon.

It was not the first time that they've been this close, but it was the first time that they turned with genuine care towards each other, and the first time when Macarena saw Zulema allowing herself to let her vulnerability come through. After a while Zulema unfolded herself from the embrace and sat up wiping away her tears. 

"You asked me what I really want?" she looked down at Maca, her usual, old self shining through her puffy, red eyes. "I still want every pervert motherfucker to pay." she said. "I will make them pay. At least some of them." she said with determination. 

_And then I will pay too._ she thought biting into her lip, but she stood up, throwing back her hair and rubbing her face, and when Maca looked up it was once again the strong and unyielding Zulema staring down at her. 

"This never happened." she gesticulated between the trampoline and themselves, then she turned away and walked towards the trailer, angrily wiping away a lingering teardrop from her cheek. 


	13. Back to basics?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've struggled to pick the story up after the last chapter.  
> On one hand I was unsure about keeping Zulema's illness a part of it or just ignoring it for a while.  
> On the other hand I was also unsure how to write their relationship after that, and... well, Zulema helped me out with that midway!
> 
> Any kind of feedback, as always, is really appreciated! ♥

Since Macarena has witnessed Zulema falling apart in her arms a couple of days ago, she was struggling to look at her the same way as before. However, Zulema has done everything she could to make the incident fade into the past, like taking back the control, wanting to focus on the details of their next robbery in every free minute of her day, being more of a maximalist than ever and acting annoying. And when she wasn't doing any of these she was either insisting on having a party night in the trailer or just staying away from home during the whole night, probably being somewhere out in a club and doing who knows what. But Macarena wasn't annoyed by her behaviour. Well, maybe except for that last thing. She knew that this was not about her, Zulema just had to compensate for allowing herself to look weak.

Macarena still didn't know how she truly felt about about her, it was probably the most extreme version of having mixed feelings. She still disapproved of Zulema's character, that was clear. And there was also their baggage from the past. Closed and dusty, and with not much effect on their present, but it was there. She respected her as an associate, from this angle she even admired her and grew to like her as a housemate, because Zulema was both fun and serious, so their life together was pretty balanced in that sense. And she was crazily attracted to her as an occasional lover, although she never truly cared about her as an actual human being. Mostly because Zulema rarely came through as an actual human being in the first place. Until now.

And this new feeling of _curiosity_ \- as she called it, which Maca started to have, wanting to know what is going on in her head, wanting Zulema to open up for her, in the same time both scared her and made her smile. She was crossing her own limits. Again.

.

Zulema was sitting in her favourite spot once again, on the top of the small hill, looking at the misty horizon. She noticed Maca approaching her. She usually didn't follow her up here, they respected each other's privacy, at least to the extent in which living together in a trailer allowed them to.

"You woke up earlier than usually." Maca said. "Even though you came home later than usually..." she added sitting down near her.

"Were you waiting up?" Zulema laughed. 

"No. I just woke up and noticed. What are you up to nowadays?" 

Zulema looked at her surprised. "As I recall, we had an agreement that we can have our own lives, and that we don't owe each other explanations." her tone was strict.

Macarena didn't say anything. Zulema was right, but she assumed that this agreement became sort of outdated. Apparently it didn't. And it was more of a one-sided thing anyway, because Maca wasn't having much of a life on her own. She did go out occasionally too, but it wasn't a habit for her. And lately Zulema seemed to be exaggerating with it.

"All right." she raised her hands apologetically. "You don't have to talk about it." she said and stared at the horizon as well.

For a while neither of them said anything.

"Are you starting to be bored of this?" Maca asked reluctantly.

"What?" Zulema looked at her being puzzled.

"Of this. Us. Working together. The robberies. The jewelry. The trailer. Everything?"

Zulema snorted. "For god's sake... Don't be so insecure!"

"I am not insecure." Maca protested. 

"Then you are just jealous." Zulema said staring into the distance.

"I am not!" Maca looked at her being low key outraged.

"It wasn't a question." Zulema said looking her in the eye.

Maca pressed her lips together being annoyed and stood up. "I was just worried about you. But as I see, you are your usual, cold, arrogant, self-sufficient self, so there's nothing to worry about anyway." she said and left Zulema on her own.

They didn't interact much with each other for the rest of the day.

.

Zulema couldn't sleep. She was tossing and turning in her bed. Unlike Macarena, she has always seen her own self as that stable, fixed point in her life which she can always cling into. She didn't need anything else to back her up. But now the idea that she is enough for herself to be her own anchor was trembling. Because being alone wasn't good anymore. Being alone was scary. Her own company was creeping her out. She didn't even want to think about what it will be like when it gets worse. So far she was all right, relatively, but her thoughts still tormented her.

She got up from the bed and went into the bathroom to wash her face. When she came back her gaze fell on the half open door of Macas's cabin. She hesitated for a moment, then she stepped through the door. 

Maca was sleeping on her side. She sat down near her on the bed, and softly gripped her arm to wake her up.

"What...?" Maca opened her eyes squinting. Zulema didn't say anything, she just leaned down, and kissed her, at first softly, then impatiently, roughly running her fingers through her hair. She was using her. But they've both been using each other before and Maca didn't seem to mind it at all.

At first she instinctively kissed her back, but then she pulled away, and sat up, looking down at Zulema who now fell back onto her pillow with a sigh. "What the hell?!" she asked with indignation.

"I can't sleep." Zulema said briefly and put her hands under the back of her head looking up at the ceiling. 

Macarena shook her head. "I guess we got to the point where you actually creep into my bed..." she rolled her eyes and laid back down near Zulema with a sigh.

"I didn't think you'd mind it." Zulema shrugged and tilted her head to look at her.

"Well... right now I do." Maca stared at her sharply. "Because in one moment you treat me like a stranger, and then when you get bored I am suddenly becoming interesting again."

Zulema stared back at her open-mouthed. "It's been like this for months, how come it is suddenly bothering you?" she turned towards her. "That has been the basis of our whole relationship: mutual exploitation. Of course..." she continued on an impartial tone. "regarding this aspect of it, it's been usually you making the actual first step, but other than that..." Zulema shrugged.

"Yeah, because you usually just do or say something and then expect me to act on it." Maca responded angrily. "Which, by the way, also gets to be frustrating after a while..."

Zulema raised her eyebrows but nodded. At the beginning she enjoyed provoking Maca. Then it sort of became a habit and they just went with it. And of course, probably Maca always wanted it more than she did. "I guess I am shy..." she shrugged.

Maca laughed bitterly and was about to turn her back on her, but Zulema put her hand on her waist and pulled her back towards herself, pinning her down onto the bed and going for another kiss. Maca gathered all her self-control to override what she actually wanted and pushed her away.

"What's the matter with you?!" she asked.

"What's the matter with _you_?" Zulema frowned, and as she looked down on her sulky yet hurt expression, she knew the answer.

She swallowed, then she let go of her and stood up from the bed. They got to that point in playing around, when it could backfire. And Zulema really wasn't needing that explosion right now. Besides, she was sure that she won't, but neither was she really thinking that Maca would actually reach this point. She bit her lip and turned back towards her, thinking that confronting her with the assumption will make her oppose of it and stop acting like this. 

"You're not falling for me, are you?" she asked calmly with a sly smirk.

"What?!" Macarena frowned and jumped up, looking into Zulema's face. "Have you seriously been thinking that that is a possibility?" she laughed sharply stepping closer to her. "You are even more arrogant and self-absorbed than I knew you to be!"

Zulema was amused by the decreasing distance between them. "Yet you are still here..." she said objectively. 

Macarena grabbed her by her T-shirt and pushed her against the wall. "I am here, because that is what is beneficial for me right now. Mutual exploitation, remember?" she was nervous and it showed in her voice. "I don't care about you. I only care about you not doing stupid things which can have repercussions on me. That's all." 

"Good. I got it." Zulema smiled in her grip. _It worked._ It was equal for her whether Maca was acting like this because she was actually hating her, or just hating herself for not being able to do it anymore. She preferred Maca looking at her with rage rather than worry or pity. "And what now?" she blinked at the hand still holding onto her. 

Maca hesitated for a moment then she eased her grip, but did not let go of her. "You're still not sleepy, are you?" she asked, her gaze falling on Zulema's lips. 

Zulema smiled, she raised her chin triumphantly looking down at Maca. "You are angry with me, yet you still can't resist me."

"What would I benefit from doing that?" she asked on a deliberately unmoved tone.

"Touché." Zulema nodded, then she freed herself from Maca's grip, turned themselves around, pushing her against the wall, and roughly claimed her lips. She felt Maca's hands running through her back, nails digging into her bare skin. She liked these kind of arguments of theirs. They always led to them being less inhibited with each other. 

.

"Hey, wake up!" Macarena was softly shaking Zulema's shoulder. She opened her eyes. "You were restless and mumbling in your sleep." 

"Bad dream..." Zulema stood up uneasily. Bad dreams weren't strangers for her lately, but Maca didn't know that.

She stared at her, once again being slightly worried. "What was it about?" she asked. "But of course... you don't have to talk abut it, if you don't want to." she added coldly and turned on her other side.

Zulema swallowed. "I was dying." she said after a short hesitation. "In the sense that I was aware that I had just a short time left to live, and everything I wanted to do, everything I was, was slipping through my fingers. I was scared." she laughed bitterly. " _Me,_ Maca, _I_ was scared and lost."

"That sounds indeed awful." Maca said coldly without turning back towards her. "Good to know it was just a dream, though..." she continued. "...because god help any soul who would cross your way if that would be the case. You'd be a wildfire."

Zulema closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Yeah... Good to know it was just a dream." she repeated quietly. 

And she wasn't sure which idea was more unsettling for her: the possibility that she could indeed turn into a wildfire; or the fact that there must have been something what managed to hold her back, considering that she hasn't had turned into one yet.

She blinked at Maca who meanwhile fell asleep, then she pulled the blanket over herself, and turning her back on her as well, she tried to fall asleep again too.


	14. Afterglow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, with this I once again ended up dissecting their characters and their relationship, and I might have drifted away a bit more than usually from canon, but... to be honest, I like my take on this. :)  
> I hope you guys do too!
> 
> Oh, and I am glad that there are only around 2 weeks left until the show ends. Because apparently I became a tad bit too much obsessed with it. 👀

Maca woke up with Zulema's hand around her waist. As she tried to move, she felt the other woman's body against her back, her forehead resting against the back of her neck. Maca blinked, being perplexed. She had no idea how this happened. Zulema's acts of affection never lingered. Not even unconsciously.

For a fraction of a moment she was tempted to hold her hand. But she didn't. It wasn't something they'd do. Not like this. And besides, she was still angry with her. How could she have the nerve to imply that she was falling for her? Even if it would have been the case, what answer did she expect? Maca did not deny the fact that she was attracted to her, on the contrary, one time she even precisely let her know that she can do whatever she pleases with her. But even if it would be the case, she would never, ever admit it to her that she loved her. _And obviously, that isn't the case._

Zulema was sleeping so restlessly during the night, that she didn't have the heart to wake her up now that her sleep seemed to be peaceful. She placed her hands under her head and closed her eyes.

She wasn't lying to herself. Not really. Maca was aware that she started to see her in a different light recently. And she was craving her in another way as well. She was kind of addicted to her, she admitted that to herself long ago, maybe seeing her in a different way was nothing more than the afterglow.

Or maybe it was something else. She was aware that she missed the rare to be seen, yet existing tender side of hers, which for some reason lately made an appearance in the most unexpected ways, and just very rarely, if at all, in the form in which she would have wanted it. This night had moments like those too, among others. She liked being with Zulema, regardless of the nuances. But those fleeting moments when she just simply kissed her, without wanting anything in return - well, often because she already got it, but still -, and Maca felt her smiling against her lips, or when she was just laughing into her shoulder after they both fell down and ended up rolling down a hill after stealing oranges from a nearby garden, these kind of brief moments reassured her, that maybe, just _maybe,_ she hasn't tied her life to a monster's.

Not to mention that time not so long ago when she caught her asking a teen girl who was weeping alone on the street if she needed help. Zulema said she just wanted her to go away, but she didn't, Maca heard her speaking.

And Maca needed this reassurance. And she was happy to get it.

 _But to call it love?_ Considering who Zulema most of the time in fact was, and the history they've had, she came to the conclusion that - ... _that would be pathological._

Then again, how many times do initially healthy relationships become hell and no one acknowledges the change. Could this ever work the other way around? Or is this question in itself a symptom of the pathology? 

"For heaven's sake..." Zulema moving and quietly muttering for herself behind her back shook Maca out of her thoughts. The hand quickly and lightly disappeared from her waist, Zulema rolled on her other side and got up from the bed. "I am already 'round the bend..." she sighed.

Maca was struggling not to laugh, but for some reason she didn't want Zulema to know that she was aware of all this. She didn't want her to come up with a mocking remark. She didn't want her to act tough again just to cover it up. So she pretended that she was sleeping and only opened her eyes when she left her cabin.

.

Zulema took a shower, she put her wet hair into a low ponytail, leaving just two locks framing her face, she blinked at her reflection in the mirror, but not giving herself more than two seconds of attention, she then turned on the coffee machine, grabbed two cups and sat down by the table biting her nail. 

The screen of her phone lit up signalling a message.

" _I got you into the trial program. You can start today. Don't thank me. You owe me."_

She let out a relieved sigh and a pale smile ran through her face. Then she deleted the message and when Maca appeared she was already drinking her coffee.

"Since when do you wear your hair like that?" Maca asked being surprised.

"It's too long. I'm thinking about cutting it." 

"Don't." Maca said automatically.

Zulema looked at her raising her eyebrows.

"With shorter hair you're so... intimidating." Maca explained. 

"Are you saying I haven't been intimidating for the past five years?" Zulema stared at her questioningly.

Maca rolled her eyes. "I just associate different memories with your old and new looks, so... You know what, let's drop the subject." she shook her head and sat down. "Just don't cut it." she added before she took a sip from her coffee.

Zulema laughed, she let her hair down and seductively ran her fingers through it bringing it to her shoulders. "Because you like it more this way. Admit it..."

"Shut up." Maca chuckled.

Zulema took a sip from her coffee too, then she continued on a more serious tone. "Sorry if I was out of line last night." 

Maca blinked at her from above her cup, being once again surprised. Zulema wasn't often apologizing for anything.

"Out of line regarding...?" 

"My assumptions. They were ridiculous." she smiled. "But you were being annoying, I had to silence you somehow. And if there was anything else... for that too." she added coughing. "Let's keep things clear." she smiled again.

"I was being annoying?!" Maca repeated her words, slightly insulted. "And you're just telling it to me like this now?" 

"Would it be better if I don't?" Zulema shrugged. "We've been doing fine for one and a half year, let's keep things that way." she said very emphatically, looking Maca in the eye. "You don't get sulky if I spend more time in town. And I don't make ridiculous assumptions." she shrugged.

"Why does that sound like an order?" Maca asked suspiciously.

"Because I've always been and I am still persistent on having my right for a private life." Zulema said firmly.

Maca knew that Zulema was reading her as if she'd be an open book. She knew that she was probably aware of all her inner monologues. Yet she decided not to tease her further and instead just asked for privacy. For _privacy_ , right after probably the most intense night they've spent together. Not mixing their nights with their days was one thing, but right now Maca really didn't understand her.

She knew Zulema well enough as well. She knew that she hated to put sugar in her coffee, but could eat a box of chocolates in one sitting. She knew what kind of reactions to expect from her, she knew what pissed her off and what soothed her, she knew what the small wrick at the edge of her lips meant when she was annoyed. But she found it difficult to decipher what she was thinking or feeling.

She was only sure about one thing, that whatever the reason for Zulema wanting her privacy was, it was not good.

"Fine." she finally gave in. She didn't want to argue in such an early hour. "I'll stop being curious." 

"Thank you." Zulema said smirking and got up to wash their cups.

Maca stared at her frowning. _This much about us having a normal, pleasant morning..._ She stood up too to grab some plates.

"Oh, and no, I am not starting to be bored of all this." Zulema said looking around themselves when Maca stepped near her. "Not in the slightest." she added, then she put her hand on her chest to stop her. She looked in her eyes for a moment, then she just softly brushed her lips against her cheek and whispered into her ear. "Relax, I am not going anywhere." Then she let go of her smiling, and turned back towards the sink.

Maca was still confused by the way Zulema acted. "Don't get yourself killed either... with all that privacy." she finally said sitting back down. "I might end up missing you." she added on a very deliberately ironic tone.

Zulema's hand stopped on the cup she was holding, shuddering. The trial treatment was no guarantee. But if she wasn't the kind of person who grasped into the smallest possibility of an escape and fought for it with teeth and nail until she made it work, no one was. She had to believe that it will work. On the other hand, until this moment it never occurred to her that Maca would ever actually miss her. She took a deep breath and put on her brave face. 

"Bad bug never dies, blondie." she turned back and winked at Maca.

And when she sat down too facing her, maybe for the first time, she wasn't seeing just the annoying associate she enjoyed messing with in front of her. She was also seeing a friend.

.


	15. Poison ivy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Apparently I am oscilating between soft Zulema and toxic Zurena. Let's keep the balance. 
> 
> 2\. I've been writing this whole fic with the "rule" that it HAS to work with the actual timeline from the show (meaning that at one point Maca has to end up being pregnant, and has to want to leave), so at first I wrote this next chapter as a bridge to get there (hence the conflict). And it pretty much made sense. And I hated it. So I said f*ck the timeline (for now?), and I edited it, ending up with the version from below instead.
> 
> 3\. I started this fic because I wanted to write El Oasis stuff, but along the way I became hung up on writing itself, so... that might be palpable. 🙈

Zulema's meticulously designed robbery went according to her plan. At least until one point. 

Maca opened the safe. "There are no diamonds here." she turned towards Zulema being confused. Zulema looked into the safe, she bit into her lip, grabbed the only object which was in it, a small USB drive and put it into her pocket.

"Pity." she said not even looking at the puzzled Maca. "Let's get out of here before they notice that we messed with the cameras."

.

When they were at a safe distance from the mansion Maca grabbed Zulema's arm and stood in her way. "What the hell was this about? You knew all along that we are not after diamonds?! What is on that drive?"

"I don't know, and I don't care." Zulema answered bypassing her. 

"Then why did you want it? Since when do we steal information?! This could be scandalous! This could end us!"

Zulema shook her head angrily. This was not how it was supposed to end. There were supposed to be diamonds as well. And Maca wasn't supposed to know that she wasn't after them. "All right..." she looked at her. "I owe someone. This was not for us. My life, my freedom was at stake."

Maca looked at her with open mouth. "And why didn't you tell me?"

"Because there were supposed to be diamonds too!" Zulema said being frustrated.

"I am asking why didn't you tell me that you were in trouble?!" Maca snapped impatiently. "Is this what your obsession with your privacy led to? Did it even cross your mind at all that maybe I'd have been willing to help you?"

Zulema just blinked at her. No, initially it didn't cross her mind. Then when it did, everything was already ready, she didn't want to just come up with the fact that she lied all along if it wasn't necessary. "You wouldn't have agreed to it."

"So you decided to lie." Maca huffed. "It comes so naturally for you... Was there ever a single moment when you weren't lying to me, manipulating me, using me, or playing me?" she asked looking at her with disappointment in her eyes.

Zulema closed her eyes and opened her mouth to say something,

"No, don't even answer. It doesn't matter." Maca shook her head and went forward. "I am going back just to get my money and my stuff. Then the place is yours. I'm out."

She was hating herself for ever being naive enough to assume that Zulema was anything better than a selfish, manipulative bitch. The bubble she's been living in lately bursted.

.

They walked further without saying a word.

Zulema was so focused on succeeding with this plan that she wasn't thinking much about the long-term consequences of what lying to Maca implied. She knew that she made a mistake. But she wasn't thinking about the fact that she lied. It was the fact that she didn't truly push Maca away when she realized that she cared. Zulema knew that she could never care the way Maca started to, and she didn't want her to do it either. Yet she just pushed her away enough to get her privacy, but with her other hand she clung into her, luring her with her charisma. Because she didn't want her to feel offended, she wanted her near. This wouldn't have happened a couple of weeks ago when the circumstances were different. She was at peace with the idea of dealing with her problems on her own. But since Maca was there, and as it lately became clear, _wanting_ to be there, she didn't want to feel alone if it wasn't necessary.

She was thinking that maybe it would be better if she would just tell her the truth. But she didn't want to. She wanted someone to enjoy her days together with, not someone looking at her with pity. This wasn't a pleasant situation either, but it still was better than the alternative. And she knew that Maca will eventually get over it. She hoped that she will. But the better they got along, the worse their arguments became. And the longer they dragged on them the deeper they cut. Because they started to have something they could lose.

.

It was dawning. They got back to the path leading to their place.

"Do you still want to know why I was spending so much time away?” Zulema stopped at the crossroad. “Well... one of the reasons why..." she corrected herself.

"Your timing is spectacular." Maca sighed. "Am I supposed to care?" she asked on a weary tone.

Zulema shrugged. "Do you?"

"So _you_ want me to know now?" Maca laughed.

"You'd find it out sooner or later anyway." Zulema said. "Follow me!"

Maca rolled her eyes and impassively followed her. They went up further on the main street, then Zulema stepped on a byway among the trees which led to a smaller road. She stopped in front of a nice, chalet-typed, one-floored little house. One of its corners was covered with English ivy, its windows looking on the street were small and shuttered.

"Why the hell are we here?" Maca asked being irritated.

Zulema reached into her pocket and took out a key. "I bought it." she said looking at the house.

Maca was shocked. "So you wanted to move out?" she laughed looking at Zulema, being slightly alarmed. "You said you were being fine with the trailer. Was anything you told me actually true?"

Zulema rolled her eyes. "Stop being so whiny for a moment at least, please! I am still fine with the trailer." She said opening the door. "It is safer. For now. But having a second place, just in case, doesn't hurt." she said stepping through the door. "The last winter was frosty. And we can store our stuff here. Or throw parties..." she continued stepping into its quite spacious living room making a piruette, then she laid down on a sofa. "And I don't have to go to hotels when I get mad with you." she sighed. "And to be honest sooner or later we'll get sick of that trailer. I don't see myself sleeping every day for the rest of my life on that bed. It starts to give me back pain."

Maca didn't say anything. She looked around. The place wasn't fully furnitured, but it looked cosy, and contrary to its facade, it was bright, the living room had long, wide windows fully occupying one of its walls. She stepped to them. She could see the sea in the distance below them. The sun was just rising.

Zulema looked around too. She was amazed by the lengths she was able to go to, to pretend and to convince herself that everything was going to be fine. "It has two bedrooms upstairs and a common balcony. You can use it too. I don't mind it." she shrugged. "Unless I come here to get away from you, of course. Then you are not welcome here."

"It's beautiful." Maca said. "But why was this such a secret?" she turned back towards Zulema.

"It wasn't. But there were problems with the paperwork, and I didn't want to celebrate too early. I'm superstitious." she shrugged.

"Celebrate?” Maca laughed bitterly. “This is a pretty little distraction from the issue but it still doesn't make up at all for you lying and being egoistical. You know... I find it very interesting how you are capable of apologizing only when you want something from the other person." she said bitterly.

Zulema blinked at her. "I am not sorry, Maca. You surely wouldn't have agreed to it, and I needed to get this drive."

"You could at least be sorry about the collateral damage." Maca said quietly.

Zulema shook her head. "Ok, you are right." she nodded sitting up. "I shouldn't have dragged you into this without telling you what it was about. I was thinking only about myself, and that..." she sighed in an exaggerated manner "...well that is who I am, but I looked it up and it kind of goes against our business-agreement, so... Sorry about that. Are we back to being all right now?"

Maca stared back at her. "No, we are not. We've never been all right anyway." she said stepping away from her. "And you are shit at apologizing when you are not putting on a show." she added mockingly.

"Then go." Zulema said quietly.

"Sorry?" Maca looked back at her.

"If nothing is ever all right, then go away! That's what you wanted to do, isn't it? Maybe it would be better for both of us!" she stood up.

Maca stepped back closer to her frowning. “That’s what you want? To push me away?" she stopped in front of her looking at Zulema with disbelief. “Really? That’s why you brought me to your newly proccurred little safe haven?” she laughed in her face, grabbing her jacket.

Zulema closed her eyes.

“No, you don’t want me to go.” Maca continued with a smug smile standing so close to her that their faces almost touched. “On the contrary, you are afraid that I might leave!”

“You are being ridiculous now.” Zulema laughed, the movement just making their bodies touch.

Maca ignored her. "And if you are afraid that I might, then stop acting in a way which could give me reasons to leave!" she pulled on her.

"You sound like someone who doesn't want to leave either." Zulema said mockingly.

Maca stared into her face. "Why do we keep doing this?" She brought one of her hands from Zulema's jacket up to her neck, her nails digging into her skin. "Why do we force this cursed duo of ours and keep insisting that it's worth it when it obviously is just poisonous?" 

"Because we have no one else out there in the world?" Zulema shrugged grabbing Maca's hand on her neck. "And maybe we are still a better company for each other than we are to ourselves." she added bitterly and roughly removed the hand from her neck.

Maca looked at her. This was probably the rawest thing Zulema ever said to her. And she wasn't wrong. Even though her statement was double edged, no matter how broken her trust in Zulema was, she was certain that nothing this raw can be anything less than genuine. This was a confession. A teardrop ran down her cheek.

"We are so messed up." Maca whispered, staring blankly in front of herself. Then she softly placed her hand on Zulema's chest and looked up searching her glance.

But Zulema stepped away from her, she threw her jacket on the couch and headed towards the stairs. "You can sleep in the room with the view. The other one has a better bed."

.


	16. The eleventh hour

Maca tried to fall asleep, but the sun was shining too brightly, and the bed was indeed shit. 

There she was once again, making an attempt to get away and ending up where? In Zulema's fancy new home, alone in Zulema's shitty, creaking, old bed. 

She sighed. Then she got up and left the room.

She was fed up with thinking. She was fed up with swallowing her bullshit. She was fed up with resisting.

.

Zulema was looking at the ceiling while laying on her back in the other room. 

The first time the hallucinations appeared was when Maca grabbed her neck and asked her why they keep doing this.

 _She is going to kill you._ She saw her own austere image behind Maca's back. _Or you are going to kill her._ The projection shrugged. _Or you'll just get her killed in the process of you wanting to kill yourself._ it whispered in her ear.

The voice has been making its comments since. They told her that despite the treatment the symptoms can get worse during the first weeks. 

She heard the door opening and Maca stepped into the room.

"All right, if you want to keep going on with this, I'm in." she said. "But there are new rules." she said firmly looking down at Zulema.

"What now...?" she sighed.

"First, if we are both going to use this place I am paying my part of it. I don't want your kind hospitality. Then, if you once again lie to me about the details of what we are doing or why, I end you. And last but not least, you are not dictating me what to do. For a start... I also prefer a comfortable bed instead of the room with the view." she said sitting down on the bed, pushing Zulema a bit aside to make place for herself and laid down near her. 

Zulema smiled.

"Deal?" Maca tilted her head to look at her.

 _You'll crush her anyway..._ The voice said neutrally. 

"Shut up..." Zulema closed her eyes.

"Sorry?" Maca frowned hovering above her. 

"Nothing." Zulema smiled at her. "You keep talking further. I like it when you try to take over the control." she said with irony in her voice.

"Try?!" Maca raised an eyebrow and pulled away, putting one of her legs over Zulema's and straightened up above her. 

_She's making you weak._

Zulema ignored the voice.

"Deal." she said, and slightly lifted herself up on her elbows to hungrily kiss her.

_How pathetic..._

She opened her eyes.

_Are you still using her or are you being used?_

For a moment she was hanging on Maca's lower lip then she softly pushed her away getting out of the bed.

_She'd stab you in the back yet you are wondering whether she'd shed a tear when you are gone. Pathetic._

_Pathetic..._ she heard the voice from every corner of the room.

This was not working as a distraction. Not anymore. It just made it worse.

"I have to get rid of that drive. I won't be back until the afternoon." she said grabbing her hoodie and opened the door. "Feel free to sleep in this bed." she added turning back towards Maca with a disturbed smile and left. 

.

Zulema looked up the noisiest heavy metal track which came into her mind, put her earphones into her ears and stepped on the street.

 _You really thought this will work?_ Her own self was walking by her side. _I am you, you imbecile!_ the projection laughed. _And when you put your claws around something you are not easy to get away from, you know that!_

She got rid of the drive, along with a thick bundle of money, paying off her debt to the man who got her so fast into the trial program.

Then she went to her daily appointment to the hospital. It was the end of her second week. They told her that if her results are good after the first two weeks, they can operate on her, and _if_ she survives the new procedure without any harmful consequences, then she has a good chance to be cancer-free.

Her results were good. 

.

Might have been the medication they gave her, or maybe her mind just got tired of tormenting her, but when she arrived home to the trailer, she had only her conscious thoughts flowing in her head. 

Maca was making dinner.

"I am going on a short vacation for a couple of days." Zulema said after she sat down.

"Vacation? Where?" Maca laughed.

Zulema blinked at her thinking. "To the hospital."

Maca frowned.

"I have gall stones." she shrugged it off. "They have to get it out."

"That sucks." Maca sat down by the table. "You've been through worse, though. But still... Do you need help with anything?" 

Zulema just stared blankly at the table. Two weeks ago they said she had months left. She gambled that. Now she had one night. Or maybe the rest of her life. "Do you want to find out how that music player in the house works?" she looked at Maca. "I can't drink now..." she said pouting. "But you can drink in my place as well."

.

"We are lucky that there are not many neighbours nearby." Maca shouted over the music. 

They were dancing in the middle of the dimly lit living room, they brought the lights from the trailer with themselves.

Maca looked at Zulema who was crazily moving around, her hair covering her face. "You are usually acting like this after some glasses of vodka." she frowned.

"Isn't life too short to be able to enjoy it only while being drunk?" she rolled her eyes.

Maca stopped jumping and stared at her.

"After everything you've been through, you're not afraid of a cholecystectomy, are you?" she laughed. "I've put you through worse."

Zulema laughed up bitterly, then she threw her hair back. "I am not afraid of anything." she said with conviction. 

"Sure..." Maca sighed. "Do you want me to go with you?" she asked. 

Zulema froze for a second. "No." she said. "You don't even have to visit me. It will be just two days. You could instead make this place a bit more homey, until I get back." she shrugged.

.

In the morning Zulema left earlier than she said she will.

When Maca woke up she just found a note on the table saying "Thank you." with a sketch of a scorpion drawn under it.

She laughed, being slightly perplexed. _Thank me what? The n-th party night?_ And then for some reason a bad feeling ran through her.

And holding the note in between her fingers it occurred to her that Zulema didn't even tell her which hospital she went to. 

.


	17. Punk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my last chapter for this fic.  
> And wow, it feels so refreshing not to have it writing itself in my mind. This was a crazy ride! I totally enjoyed it, but it sort of took over me, haha
> 
> BUT I will most likely write something sort of stand-alone after the last two episodes, which takes place after this fic. :)  
> I might already have an idea for it, damn...

There has been no sign from Zulema for the rest of the day. Maca sent her a couple of messages but she got no answer.

When it's been like this for the second day, Maca blinked at Zulema's "Thank you!" message still laying on the table, she grabbed her jacket and left to the town.

.

"I can't give out information, unless-" the receptionist at the gastroenterolological clinic looked at Maca. "Who are you to the patient?" 

Maca swallowed. Good question. Who the hell was she to the patient? "I am her friend." she said.

The receptionist nodded. Maca indeed looked worried, he wasn't assuming that she'd be lying. 

"She's not here." the man said. But I found her name in the system. He said frowning at the screen. Then his expression changed. ”You said she came for cholecystectomy?" he blinked at Maca.

"Yes." she answered impatiently. 

The receptionist hesitated. If this woman didn't want to tell her friend why she was in, probably he shouldn't either. "I'm sorry, there's nothing more I can say." he said and closed the window on the screen.

Maca looked around. It was only the two of them on the corridor. She slowly stepped around the desk smiling. "Then maybe try a bit harder." she said pushing her gun into the man's side. "Look her up again!" 

.

Maca stormed up on the stairs of the neurosurgical institute looking for the intensive care unit. She was angrier with Zulema than ever before. _Brain tumour? Cancer?_ And instead of telling it to her, she let her be suspicious and judging and angry with her. She left her with nothing but a note and stepped into the uncertainty. _That note..._ she thought. _That fucking note was her saying goodbye in case... -_ Maca wanted to scream at her. She wanted to hit her. And she really, really hoped that she will be alive to feel her anger. 

"I'm sorry, lady!" someone approached her. "You can't just enter there." 

Maca was fed up with the obstacles.

"Take one of those disposable coats and bootees and tell to the nurse who you are looking for." 

.

Zulema was quietly laying on a bed, her eyes closed. She looked weak. Maca stepped near her. A good part of her hair was shaved off on one side. Had it not been for the white bandage around her head, and if she'd been wearing her earrings and her eyeliner she would have looked like a cool punk rocker. But in that moment she was just a helpless woman, clinging into life.

"You untruthful, loathsome, bitch!" Maca whispered.

Zulema slowly opened her eyes. "Such sweet words for one to wake up to!" she said quietly. "I've told you that you don't have to visit me."

"You also said you had gall stones!" Maca's urge to scream at her and to hit her disappeared. She was just glad that she was alive. She sat down on the side of her bed. "You've got a new haircut, eh?" she asked.

"I've told you I was thinking about cutting it." Zulema smiled. "But as I feel it, it's still long on the right side.The way you like it." she added. "It took them eight hours, it better be good." 

Maca laughed, being teary eyed. She reached towards Zulema's hand which was laying by her side but she stopped midway. She just put her hand on her arm instead. "You should have told me."

"Why?" Zulema laughed. "To look at these worried, annoying doe eyes in my possibly last weeks? Please... Wasn't it more entertaining this way?" 

"I hate you..." Maca shook her head.

"No, you don't." Zulema said smiling. She put her other hand on Maca's, and squeezed the hand holding her, then she let go of her.

"I am mushy only because of the anaesthetic." she was trying to sound harsher. "Stop being so sentimental and pull yourself together, for heaven's sake!" she continued turning her head to the other side.

Maca didn't know it, but a side effect of the anaesthetics was also that patients could occasionally talk aloud to themselves. 

.

One week later Zulema was released from the hospital.

"I like what you did with the place." she said sitting with her legs up on the couch sipping tea in front of the electric fireplace. "It's cosy." she nodded. "That thing has to go, though." she added pointing at a postmodern painting about a cat hanging on the wall. It reminds me of Goya."

Maca laughed. "I found it on the top of a cupboard..." she said indifferently and sat down near her with a bowl of popcorn. "So you go on with the treatment for another year and you have to make scans periodically? That's all?"

"Yup..." Zulema agreed.

"And no headbanging for a while, I guess..."

"Nope." she repeated, then she turned towards Maca. "But there is a son of a bitch of a doctor who was substituting mine one day. He has a Rolex collection." she said cheerfully.

"You haven't changed, I see." Maca laughed.

"Never." Zulema pushed a lock of hair out of her eye. 

"That haircut is pretty wild. I still have to get used to it." Maca blinked at her. 

"It suits me, doesn't it?" she ruffled up the part of her hair which was freely falling on her shoulder. On the other side she had a couple of of locks arranged into thin, messy braids right above the shaved off part reaching down towards the back of her neck. "It's reckless!"

Maca looked silently into the fireplace. 

"What are you thinking about?" Zulema leaned forward to look at her. 

"I was just wondering... How much of your behaviour in the past year could have been a symptome?" she asked pensively. "Not as if you wouldn't be full chaos with a clean head as well." she added jokingly. "But still..."

Zulema frowned.

"I mean..." Maca continued turning fully towards her. "For example there was this medical drama in which a woman having a brain tumour married a guy, just because the tumour made her think that she was in love with him." Maca shrugged. 

Zulema's hand stopped in the air as she was bringing another piece of popcorn to her mouth. She understood where Maca was going with this. "I've never watched medical dramas." she laughed.

"That was not the point." 

Zulema blinked at her from the corner of her eye. She never looked at it like this. She always felt that she was having clear judgement, even if she looked at it retrospectively. _Ok, I have been more clingy than I normally would have been, but other than that.. that was all me._ But with this question Maca handed her a joker. Would she want to, regardless of it being the case or not, she could now say that their whole affair was all the tumour, and her desperation, and that she is sorry but it's over, and they'll go on like partners in crime. She never wanted it to be anything more than occasional fun anyway. But the occasional fun has been... fun.

"I don't know..." she said frowning. She reached towards the bowl grabbing another handful of popcorn. "But we'll figure that out along the way, won't we, blondie?" she smirked at Maca and she threw a piece of popcorn into her mouth.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Until the next time, I would really really reaaally appreciate if you'd tell me which chapter you liked the most! And if there was one which was really disappointing, that too, pretty please! It would mean a lot! Thanks in advance! Here are some cookies: 🍪🍪🍪
> 
> And also thank you all for the interest and support you showed! 💜
> 
> \- - -
> 
> And I know you guys most likely don't mind this, but just to keep the actual facts in perspective:  
> Cancer treatment and neurosurgery are messy and complicated. I am very well aware. But I didn't want to get into too many medical details nor to be very realistic about that here.  
> This is just ff and I was merely trying to fix what the show did. :)


End file.
